Winter Wonderland / Year in Review

It's been a little over a month since the last post but it seems like much longer. I've had an abundance of spare time in the truck lately as the freight situation continues to worsen. There are good and bad weeks, on good ones I run 2500+ miles, bad has been around 1500. To put it in perspective I ran over 3300 miles on my best week this summer.

This profession generally pays by miles dispatched. This is different than miles driven (of course not in a good way) although a few companies do pay by those "hub miles". When I get a load assignment I get notified of the empty and loaded miles paid. The catch is that these miles are calculated on a zip code to zip code basis. The system figures the miles from the outside edge of the shippers zip and then calculates the shortest possible route (not always the route you have to take) to the edge of the consignee zip. In reality this ends up being 85-90% of the actual miles driven. Shorter trips get heavily taxed by this system, in addition to the fact that since only miles are paid, all non driving time (getting loaded / offloaded, inspections, fueling, paperwork, load scaling, etc...) is unpaid. There are few exceptions such as multiple drops on one load and load / offload times exceeding 2 hours (personal record 8.5 hours to get unloaded) but otherwise the only way to make the money is to get out on that road and move.

Moving has been quite the elusive activity lately. In a perfect world I will have my next load destination before I deliver my current one. I have a fantastic driver manager that usually keeps me rolling, but without freight this becomes difficult. The really frustrating part is that you don't know if you're going to get your next assignment in 30 minutes, 30 hours, or 3 days. These assignments come on the all holy Qualcomm computer in the truck, which is unfortunately always in the truck. With the advancements in technology today it would really be great to be able to get my Qualcomm data sent to a PDA or Cell.

As a comparison, let's say Bob goes to the office Monday morning. He sits down at his desk and immediately gets a phone call. He is told that there is nothing for him to do so he won't be getting paid today. When work is available he will get a call at his desk. So Bob sits unpaid and unproductive at his desk all day, and even stays late in anticipation of work. Finally he gets up to go home, and wouldn't you know it, the phone rings. There is a project that will take 10 hours to complete but it can't be started until midnight. Bob best get in a power nap , at his desk of course. And if Bob wants to pay his bills he had better get used to never leaving that desk for very long.

By now I am well accustomed to the driving schedule (or lack thereof). The order of precedence (in order) are, exhaustion, delivery schedule, traffic avoidance, and personal preference. I outright refuse to drive tired, I'm not going to kill myself or anyone else so Wal-Mart can get their Hawaiian Punch on time. The most complicated part of this job is the chess game of working my sleep schedule around the delivery times while factoring in traffic, construction, weather, etc. I can say I haven't had a late pickup or delivery yet and have kept my down time to a minimum (preferably in someplace that doesn't suck [i.e. New Jersey]).

I owe it all to 5 hour energy, sub lingual B vitamins, and Harding's Wild Ginseng (from the rocky hills of the Upper Youghiogheny Gorge). On the other hand when you really need to knock yourself out without residual effect (or anything that will cause false positives on a DOT drug test) I am a big fan of homeopathic Quietude, Bachs Rescue Sleep, diffused lavender oil, and good ol' Chamomile tea.

When I last posted I was in Palm Springs on a nice cool evening. I went for a bike ride around the area the next morning. Palm Springs is populated by roving gangs of golf codgers. Not unlike a Meth addict these coots roam, putter in hand looking to score their next chip shot. There is a constant struggle by the local population to keep the golf punks in line.

There is a stark contrast between the desert and the manufactured landscape of the golf course. This was very noticeable when I took a ride up into the foothills south of town. The chunk of lush green surrounded by brown looks very unreal from above. The foothills were very... umm.. hilly and not the best place for a singlespeed. I kept the off road ride short and wandered around town more, giving a wide berth to anyone carrying a golf club.

While I had the time and freedom I decided to catch a movie. I had wanted to see the new Kevin Smith film, Zach and Miri Make A Porno. It dawned on me that 3 of the last 4 movies I have seen on the big screen were Smith's. This is partially due to the fact that I rarely see movies anymore and largely due to the fact I like his films. Previous to Zach and Miri Make a Porno (I feel the need to use the whole title since no theater will) my last movie experience was the DVD release for Clerks 2. Not bad considering I got my picture with Kevin, and one of my brother with Randall (Jeff Anderson).

Palm Springs has some great bike paths. Unfortunately they are not made for commuting. A well maintained path will dead end leaving you on a less than bike friendly road. In general I found the drivers there very impatient and aggressive. Maybe I was keeping them from their next round of golf. Several times I considered getting off the road and riding on the side but the loose sand made that virtually impossible. Even after years of commuting in Pittsburgh and getting hit by a car, it was Palm Springs that really had me concerned about another rendezvous with a fender.

I went back to my truck for a pre LA nap but was unable to sleep much. I had a midnight delivery followed by a 2 AM pickup in Carson. Carson is dangerously close to Compton, so there couldn't be any wrong turns getting to my pickup. I figure if the police avoid the place so will I. By 3 AM I was loaded and Straight Outta' Carson headed for Maryland. It was nice to be in and out of LA in the middle of the night and for once I didn't have to deal with traffic. I downed a bottle of 5 Hour Energy cause the next stop was my favorite layover stop in the country, Flagstaff AZ.

I got to Flagstaff by 10Am and although I hadn't slept in over 24 hours I decided to get a bike ride in. I had found a great Indian / Tibetan restaurant online and had a great lunch at the Himalayan Grill. I followed with a ride around town and a visit to the Lowell Observatory.

The Lowell Observatory tour was nice, although little is done at the site anymore due to light pollution from the city. The observatory started by Percival Lowell is where Giovanni Schiaparelli discovered Pluto in 1930. You can also get a nice view of Flagstaff from the driveway. More info about the observatory at http://www.lowell.edu/

Flagstaff is quite the opposite of Palm Springs when it comes to Biking. I have learned defensive riding as I have already found that cars weigh 100 times as much as a bike and tend to hurt. I was unaccustomed to people actually giving me the right of way. On more than one street I was not ready to proceed even though a car was letting me go. Sorry folks, I'm just not used to drivers being polite. In most places people just don't realize that a bicycle IS a legal vehicle (except on highways or where posted) and entitled to the rights of the road. Just a most cyclists don't understand that those rights come with the obligations of following all traffic laws. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rU4nKKq02BU

I stopped by the New Frontiers market on my way back to the truck. This is a great natural foods store less than a mile from the Little America Truckstop. They have good produce and prepared foods, and I picked up some of their Southwest pumpkin soup I later decided I should have bought more of that fantastic soup. I took a much needed shower at the Little America, and got some even more needed sleep.

The Flagstaff Little America is by far the current leader in the best shower contest. Normally I'm just hoping for a clean, or at least clean looking place with hot and cold water. This place has a spacious room of white marble with a shower and a tub. I'll probably never use the tub, but it's a nice option. There is more than enough room to set down your stuff and they provide 2 towels. Kudos to LA for the nice amenities.

It was an uneventful trip with long days behind the wheel to get back east. I did get to spend a night with a Hooker (Hooker Oklahoma that is). There are 13 towns in the country called Hooker, the best being Hooker Hole LA, but the one in OK is the only one that can say it's underneath a liberal (Liberal KS).

I did get to stop home and have a mini FOO outing. Somehow whenever we go out to a restaurant together the service is lacking. We don't necessarily have a large or difficult group, maybe it's just bad luck, but right now we're 0 for 3. After some other visiting I headed off to MD.

The next week was mostly wandering around in the east with a stop in Chicago (you know bad roads, blah blah blah) and the bustling metropolis of Topeka. I also got to drive on the first black ice of the season in Detroit, unfortunately I was empty and it was windy. I hadn't planned on being in the area, but I was able to go home for Thanksgiving.

The following week was quite bad for freight. I went to Detroit again and got stuck for 2 days, then fought crappy weather over to Bethlehem Pa with a load for the soon to be bankrupt Circuit City. A quick stop in the beautiful garden state got me a load to South Carolina... where I got stuck for another 3 days. I had a nice scenic ride through the Smoky Mountains (hauling 22 tons of dirt, yes dirt) and ended up getting stuck in Indianapolis for another 2 days.

I had no trailer in Indy for the weekend and decided to get my holiday shopping done. The tractor by itself still takes up 4 parking spaces and mall security wasn't too keen on me parking in their lot. This despite the fact I was at the very end of the lot and there wasn't a car within 200 yards of me. I found alternative parking and nearly got killed trying to cross the road outside the mall on foot. Holiday traffic can suck my ass. God forbid you don't get to that sale at The Yankee Candle Company on time.

I also had my first visit to the exclusive bistro "White Castle". Put up a sign saying sweet potato fries and I'm there. I found out that one of the truths of my childhood was no longer accurate. And for all those years I believed it when the Beastie Boys told me "White Castle fries only come in one size". Oh well, it has been over 20 years since then. I must add that the woman that took my order was one of the most surly service workers I have encountered in a long time.

I worked my way west after a pickup in Ohio. I got to drive (empty again) from Ochelata OK to Denver. The snow and wind was quite bad in OK and I had a lot of small 2 lane roads to cover. If you feel that conditions warrant you to drive less than 25% of the posted speed with your 4-way lights on you really should pull off the road at the next reasonable opportunity. There were an abundance of those "rolling hazards" on the road that night and the conditions weren't really that bad. I reiterate that I'm not willing to die for this job and will drive according to conditions, but 15 mph on wet (not icy) roads, get a clue and park that thing.

There is something about my truck lately that is saying, Hey Trooper, please pull me over! Commercial drivers can be pulled over for inspection at any time, which can be a nice source of profit for the municipality. I got pulled over in OH for a level 2 (logbook, permits, registrations, and basic truck inspection) on 11/28. On 12/10 a KS trooper heading in the opposite direction crossed the median in the grass to pull me over for another level 2. Later the same day I got stopped at a weigh station in CO for a level 3 (logbook permits and registration only). All of the inspections found no violations but if there had been any problems it could have cost a couple hundred and gone on my record. The most annoying part is that if you're on a tight schedule you don't have the 45 minutes to blow. Certain companies like the one I work for are targeted for inspections as we have a high turnover rate. New drivers tend to make more of the expensive errors that the Motor Carrier Enforcement folks love.

I got to spend a day in Boulder with my friend Kate, and as an added bonus Jess (formerly Dready Jess) was in town. I hadn't seen Jess since Tahoe back in 2004 when she still had the dreadlocks. Boulder is home to a lot of the products I use (Pangea Organics, Peaceful Mountain, Crocs), as well as being a cool (albeit pricey) and friendly town. We went out for Sushi (and sushi bunnies) and wandered around the pedestrian mall for a while. I finally found a place that carries the eyeglass frames I wear that also takes my insurance (yay!). It's the little things like that that can be a real bitch to take care of when you have to park the big truck.

I headed south into New Mexico with a stop in Santa Fe and Albuquerque. I got to spend another fine night in a blizzard on my way west into Arizona. For about 100 miles I was subjected to near white out snow and wind gusts up to 45 MPH. Normally I would have pulled over for the night but I was trying to get to Flagstaff for a 34 hour reset. I wasn't too keen on sitting in the middle of nowhere in Arizona for 34 hours, not with Flagstaff that close. So we all got in line for the 25 MPH westbound parade. For some reason a car decided to park in the right lane around milepost 220 but otherwise it was a thankfully uneventful drive.

I hit the usual stops in Flagstaff by truck due to the less than ideal weather. Little America is one of the nice places that will let you drop your trailer. This allowed me to get around a bit easier and guaranteed my parking spot for the night. After my reset I headed down to Phoenix where I am currently waiting to work my way back home for the holidays. Hopefully there will be freight heading that way.

As for the year in review... Pretty good I must say.

This post's dose of church is actually a church.

There can only be one nexus point for art and culture in North America. Who could possibly deny that this hallowed place is none other than Branson Missouri. There is a wonderful little chapel not too far away near Carthage which should certainly be a pilgrimage for all the faithful.

At the Precious Moments Park and Chapel (inspired by the Sistine Chapel) http://www.preciousmoments.com/content.cfm/park_chapel

you can view 5000 square feet of murals depicting your favorite biblical scenes. Wait, it gets better.. all the scenes feature the vomit inducing cuteness of the precious moments figurines. Those would be the sweet little doe eyed scamps as seen below.

Admission is free, you'll need your cash for the gift shop of course. And I'm betting they have a special edition, chapel only, limited time chunk of overpriced crap just for you!

Looks like I'm back to having those funky reformatting problems when I post. I have gone back 5 times now and separated everything that seems determined to compress itself together when I hit the preview button. I just don't understand what happens, I separate everything, resave the post, then watch as it automatically goes right back to the compressed chunk like before. At least this time it's legible, I'm officially done giving a shit and sick of computers for the night.

FUCK! Looks like I spoke too soon. Before I could hit the publish post button Internet Explorer decided to crash. And wouldn't you know it, after the reboot all the compression reversed itself to expansion. I reopened my draft to find huge gaps between each paprgraph. Does anyone know what the deal is? I think there is a problem when I add images. I'll usually write all my text and then upload the images. For some reason that is when the expansion crap starts. The 2 spaces between paragraphs turns into 20, and I go through, place the images where they need to be and remove the excess space. Hitting the preview button either compresses everything together or reverts back to the expansion. I'm thinking there is either a delay on updating when I compose text, or it just doesn't show everything properly in the preview. Or then again it could just be that computers are evil and hate me. If the latter is true (you know it is) they can get in line behind the holiday traffic for an appointment to suck my ass. I will now hit the post blog button and walk away with what little sanity I have left.

Logs, Granola, Precipitation, Deadheading, and Saturated Fat

It's now mid November and the freight shortage still looms large. I have done OK in the past few weeks and have even needed to take a couple 34 hour resets. I am currently taking one now in Palm Springs CA.

For those not up on the wonderful world of logging allow me to give you the crash course. There are 4 categories of time for the driver which must be graphed at 15 min intervals.

1- Off duty, self explanatory
2- Sleeper Berth, in truck but not working

3- Driving, also self explanatory
4- On duty not driving, the catchall for everything else - fueling, scaling, loading, unloading, inspections, etc.

Every time you change from one status to another you have to make notation of the city and state. So far not too complicated, but here comes every one's favorite... violations. From the moment you start working for the day there is a 14 hour limit. No work (lines 3 & 4) can happen after 14 hours. Within the 14 hour period only 11 hours can be driving. 10 hours of rest (either line 1 or 2) need to be taken before work can restart. At the end of each day add both the driving and on duty not driving hours together. Those hours along with all working hours for the previous 7 days can't exceed 70 hours. When you find yourself running out of your 70 hours you can reset the 70 to 0 by taking a 34 hour break (drivers weekend).

Violations are the first thing that the DOT will look for since for them they are quite profitable. If you had a violation 5 days ago it can compound with every following day until it is corrected. The most basic violations start out around a couple hundred dollars and an extreme case could hit thousands.

Tedious, yes but for your troubles you get a neat little graph of your life. Even if you go to The Bahamas for a month you still have to fill out a log for each day stating that you were off duty in The Bahamas. With utmost certainty I can tell you that on 8/24/08 at 1:15 am I had just stopped for the night at a rest area in Monteagle TN. As I recall it was also raining.

Well enough of that fun, my last post was from SC and so much has happened since. From SC I headed up to the nice parts of NY (not NYC) I was killing time before my delivery with a bike ride around Dansville. It was a nice small to medium town (big enough for a McDonalds) that still had a nice main street with open businesses (small enough for no Wal Mart) I stuck close to town as the one shortcoming of the singlespeed is that it isn't the best for straight out road riding. That and the occasional sprinklings from above threatened to turn into a full rainstorm.

In my wanderings I found a huge field with windmill parts. I don't know if this was a manufacturing plant or merely warehousing, but they had quite a few turbines there and none to be seen on nearby hilltops. It was however quite windy with the approaching storm, and the opposite side of the road was the end of a small airstrip. Dansville has a local glider group and one of the pilots was out for a little afternoon spin. I continued riding around town and was beginning to have my fill of Dansville. I headed back out to the airstrip to watch the glider come in for a landing and that was when I saw "The Castle on the Hill".

At least that's what the woman at the gas station called it. Not so much a castle as a huge Victorian resort. She gave me a very basic history which included that it was a wealthy party spot back in the day that is now closed due to vandalism. She mentioned that it recently got purchased and may be reopening. From the way she put it it sounded like a version of the Playboy Mansion in small town NY.

I went up for a closer look but the property was gated and posted. Extremely well posted I might add. Although I really wanted to wander up through the woods to check it out I decided that a picture from the road and later Internet search would have to do.

Apparently this building is the birthplace of... (wait for it)... GRANOLA!!! Around 1854 a water cure health spa was built here. It was a Hydropathy destination for many years and it's second owner Jackson is credited with inventing the first cold breakfast cereal (called Granula). The original wooden resort burned and Jackson built the current brick structure. Later in 1929, it became the Physical Culture Hotel owned by Bernarr McFadden, a former pro wrestler and bodybuilder. The building has been empty since 1971 and earlier this year grant money has been obtained for a possible revitalization. More info at link

http://dansville.lib.ny.us/historyo.html#castle

I had my first snow of the year in Conklin NY, and later that day was stuck in the first raging winter shitstorm of the year. I had just left Syracuse and was deadheading (empty trailer, as opposed to bobtailing - no trailer) to Chicago. It was one of those sort of rain freezing ice slushstorms, with high wind. Part of what keeps a truck driving straight in the wind is the weight of the load. This weight also supplies the downforce to make the brakes work. Needless to say my night was sucking in a big way. The precipitation lasted halfway to Buffalo but the wind kept up until I stopped on the west side of the Ohio Turnpike. There were 60 mph gusts around Erie PA, nothing like towing a 53'x13' sail to make for stressful driving.

And nothing like the free (and very clean) showers of the Ohio Turnpike Plaza to put a good end to a bad night.

I only made a quick stop in Chicago to get a load for Missouri. I swear, every time I get on I-55 I have to hit 3 miles of gridlock hell that takes an hour to get through. It doesn't matter what day or time.. I just have the worst luck with I-55. And I only went there cause it was the only 3 miles of interstate not currently under construction in Illinois. (yes, I'm raging and shaking my clenched fist at Illinois highways again)

Missouri led to Tennesee, where I had some more fancy type cheffin'. The usual pepper onion potato mix, with the usual broccoli and asparagus, but this time I found these nice pork tenderlions wrapped with peppercorn bacon. Next time I really need to come up with a different veggie and side.

I continued east into NC and got a load of Campbell's Soup from Maxton. This is the kind of town that only exists because there is the soup plant there. It's not a bad place, just entirely forgettable. I've been there three times now, (once stuck for 30 hours) and I can't think of one unique feature of the area. This is the first place I was propositioned for "company" by a lot lizzard though. So if you need soup or prostitutes think Maxton NC (hopefully the people with the Maxton tourism council will run with that one)

One of my favorite lines in the movie Dogma is "Don't underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State." And NJ drew me and that load of soup in for a tour of 4 wonderful Shoprite stores. Local delivery is not much fun for the OTR driver since our trucks are meant for... well over the road use. Those 55' daycab rigs are meant for local delivery and the loading docks are designed for those smaller trucks. Get a 75' truck in that space and it leaves little room to maneuver. Add the other smaller vans and trucks, and the fact that every vendor is on a tight schedule and you have 8 hours of NJ fun!

I did get to visit the Jersey Shore (well, close to it) and passed through the Pine Barrens (despite the name one of the unspoiled natural areas of the state... well maybe a little spoiled). I made it through that endeavor unscathed and settled in for a 34 hour break in sceinic Paulsboro NJ.

I worked back down to NC and on to Atlanta, then by virtue of lack of freight I got to deadhead to Phoenix AZ, a mere 1900 miles away. I'm not going to fuss since I get paid the same empty as I do loaded. But wasn't there anything between Atlanta and Phoenix that needed to get as little more west? The trip went well, no major traffic due to the weekend and I stopped at out of the way areas to sleep without the congestion of the truckstops. I was doing my showering during the days and knew that the cooler nights would bring the noise of two trucks idling beside me. The new comforter I got kept me quite warm with overnight temps around 30. Nothing like a good view and some peace and quiet.

I had my best daily fuel mileage to date (9.2 mpg) on this trip. Thankfully the weather was better behaved than on my last deadhead... until the last 100 miles.

Actually it was windy the whole way from El Paso on, but I hit this wonderful little hailstorm just before Phoenix. The curse of the western raincloud follows me still. Actually I think it was right here that the curse started.

I had a few extra hours to burn as I wanted to arrive at sunset (keep the truck cool). My planned excursion to Picacho Peak just happened to be in the middle of the storm. I had climbed it several years ago on a trip with my brother and recall the sunset was nice from the peak. Well, not this time.

I left Phoenix early this morning with intent of taking a 34 somewhere en route. Being such a fan of wind turbines I decided to stop in Palm Springs, just east of a whole mess of em'. As I type a cool evening breeze blows into my truck from the west. I can see several turbines spinning in the sunset. Not a bad way to spend an evening I must say. I spoke too soon, a truck just backed in beside me and idles despite the nice temp and laws prohibiting idling in CA. Oh well...

With all the time I've spent in NC recently I tought I should showcase a fine Carolina product for this dose of church.

Here we have the pride of Carolina Country Snacks, BBQ Fatback... with skin attatched. The discriminating consumer knows that fatback just aint' shit without the skin. So what makes this 53 grams of lovin part of this column, why the bible verse on the package!

It's the mac daddy of em' all John 3:16! Now the folks at Carolina Country Snacks want everyone to know (via their website) that if you're looking for a satisfying lo carb snack why not crunch into some saturated fat? After all if you believeth in god's only begotten son you already have a ticket to the big upstairs. So why not speed up that meeting with JC by chompin' on fatback... ummm... can I get some lard to dip these in?

And what do the people have to say?

http://carolinasnacks.com/page/mgmi/Customer_Comments.html

Can I get an Amen!

The beginning of the end?

I'm beginning to get a bit concerned about the lack of freight moving this week. Maybe I'm overreacting but for someone that used to run about 650 miles a day, my current average is less than 250. I can't do much speculation about the cause of our recent economic woes except to say unrestricted greed had a part in it. Besides, nobody wants to hear a driver going off about politics or the like (especially on the CB *hint*)

This has given me the opportunity for more bike time and I found a nice trail in Breezewood Pa not far from the TA truckstop. It was an old section of the PA Turnpike from back when it was 1 lane in each direction (like all of Illinois currently). I wish I had brought my headlight for the bike as there were 2 tunnels on the trail and while you can see light at the other end it gets a bit dark in the middle. Nothing like riding through blackness not knowing if you're going to hit something while cold water drips on you from above. The trail was otherwise deserted, and I enjoyed some fall foliage on the side trails. Some of the local slacker youth did a fine graffiti job on the tunnels I must say I'm really enjoying the singlespeed.

I had some troubles with my wireless card and was without net access for about 2 weeks. I gave up on Sprint tech support after the sixth time I went through the same program, format, reboot... process that they read off the screen. None of it helped much and I had to resort to my ace in the hole, a brother that is a programmer. After this and the assistance getting my bike out of the savage clutches of the UPS warlords he is definitely getting my sainthood nomination. The road was long and arduous, and I can't honestly say I did much but make it more difficult, but It's all working again. Apparently the launch program decided to screw up and didn't want to leave my computer, and the working version wasn't moving in until after the squatters were evicted. That is the most technical version of things I am able to muster, hopefully you're able to follow.

I spent a few days back home and finally got around to cleaning up the accumulation of junk in my storage unit. Every time I was home I would just empty the things I didn't need in my truck into a pile in the back. Eventually I was unable to pull my Honda in and it needed to be addressed. I had wondered where that loaf of bread went to in June, It had molded beyond the fuzzy stage to something quite scary. Thankfully the rest was less fungal and things are back in order.

The home visit was scheduled for the weekend of the FOO campout. We headed back to West Virginia for another stay at Coopers Rock. This time we camped at Chestnut Ridge instead of in the State Forest (no alcohol restrictions). The turnout was similar to last year but without the rain. It was however quite cold and the temps hovered between 30 and 45 most of the weekend. We had plenty of wood for a nice fire, something that is sorely lacking on the road. I motion for all truck stops to do away with the drivers lounge (usually a TV room with ashtrays) and put in the fire ring. There is nothing quite like hanging out with good people around a fire. We even had quite the turkey dinner with all the trimmings. It was like a little slice of Thanksgiving in October. I was fortunate to enlarge my Sheepie family to 3, the new additions being Kayla and Disco Chocolate (I could try but it would just be too difficult to explain to a non FOO member) long story short, they're little wool sheep Christmas ornaments. We were pleasantly treated to a bit of music from a wedding that was being held at the campground. At first we had our doubts, but were happy once we found out it was going to be The Halftime String Band (a local WV bluegrass outfit) known to frequent Ohiopyle. It only makes sense that it would be river type folk having an outdoor wedding in late October. The weather broke on the last day (just like last year) and we went for a hike to Raven Rock Overlook for some Cheat Gorge views.

I have officially had my first comment on the blog. I don't know how you end up finding something as action packed as my blog, but don't go expecting outlandish things like more frequent posts just because I now have an audience. I will continue to bring you all the best in sarcasm, cycling, roadside religion, and the marvel that is the Eisenhower Interstate System. (Marvel not available in Illinois).

I have been expanding on the fine art of OTR Cheffin' Above you will see the spacious and well appointed kitchen on my truck. It even has running water (during rainstorms) and deluxe overhead lighting. My most recent fancy type meal was grilled salmon with mango salsa, grilled red, yellow, and orange bell peppers, and steamed asparagus and broccoli. It was so good the night I had it in Cranberry PA I decided to do the same this evening in Greer SC (despite the running water in the kitchen). I am trying to break up the monotony of the salad while still preparing most of my own meals in the truck. I still need to work on the refrigeration technology as my cooler isn't that large and tends to freeze things when the truck gets cold at night. I do have the bonus freezer that will soon arrive behind my cab this winter.

And once again it's time for church! I've been looking hard lately but I just haven't been to too many red states. You find the best material there. As I ponder other options in my driving career (there has to be freight moving somewhere) I came across this little recruitment

Ok, I might consider it, but how much per mile and will he be bringing any of those fetuses in the truck?

Lost Kitty

Ok, it has been a little while since the last post, I've been lax. Many things have happened, most of them not really worth noting. Had my first visit to Florida, if Jacksonville really counts. This city is about as far south as I'd like to go into that state. The Kangaroo fuelstop there has officially beaten the Rawlins WY TA in the nastiest shower contest.



I made it in and out of the sunshine state between hurricanes and made my way slowly back up the east coast to Ohiopyle for the Music in the Mountains festival.


One of the high points of my home visit was the trip to pick up my new bike. Unfortunately that custom drivetrain I had chosen was so custom that it hadn't arrived yet. Add a holiday weekend and it looked like I would be making shipping arrangements. This is always fun when you don't know where you're going to be more than 36 hours in advance.


The Festival weekend in the pyle was nice. The fireworks were better than last year and the music was great. The Hillbilly Gypsies were pickin' and grinnin' at the Pub on Saturday night. The FOO members had an opportunity to spend the night in the old park superintendent's house at the outflow of Meadow run. The house was fantastic but as usual I slept in my Element.


I left PA for VT and it would have been great to take a ride up near Canada, but since I would be meeting Miss Kitty out on the road, and can now only carry 1 bike at a time, I was temporarily bikeless. I worked down the east coast and found myself in Chesapeake 12 hours before yet another Hurricane (I think it was the H one). My Driver manager gave me a choice load to Tracy CA a short 2900 miles away. The drive was nice, cool sleeping weather, and no major fight for parking






I found my new favorite truckstop, the Little America in Flagstaff. Nice and cool at over 7000 ft elevation. good parking and fantastic showers, hell they even have bathtubs. Just down the street is a natural foods store, there are mountain views to the north and bike friendly streets... sigh... yet still no bike in my truck.



I decided it would be a great opportunity to rendezvous with my new bike in California. This started the agonizing task of getting a 25 pound bike delivered to Mountain View Ca. I soon found out that The bike would arrive the day after I left, even considering that I would be spending my 34 hour break at Yosemite after my delivery.






Yosemite was fantastic although the last time I had something other than Crocs or my bike shoes on was... well the last time I was in Yosemite. My brother picked me up around noon and I napped a bit on the way as I had been driving since around midnight. We took a short hike to Lower Cathedral Lake, had great fish tacos just outside the park and headed to camp. I chose the same deluxe accommodations as I did in Joshua Tree, the picnic table. It got down to the high 30's overnight but my Big Agnes bag was toasty warm.

We took a 14 mile hike to Clouds Rest in the morning. I had some minor blistering the day before and really shouldn't be using heavy leather goretex boots in the summer. Anything I used to stop the blisters would sweat off within half a mile. I also use Superfeet insoles which are really nice but they take about 3 days or so of soreness to get used to. My feet were certainly not used to my boots anymore. I was also physically not up to the task of a rough terrain hike to 11,000 feet. The way out was fine but I totally ran out of energy on the way back. The 13th mile was a 1000 ft descent which really sucked. It was all worth it though. From clouds rest you are pretty much at the top of the valley looking down on Half Dome and the Merced River.

As expected, no bike before I headed off for Yuma, so I made arrangements to get routed back that way. I tracked the package and it had been on a delivery truck on Friday. Certainly I would be able to pick it up by Monday. I killed time in Fontana over the weekend and eagerly headed up I-5 to my delivery and new bike. I checked the UPS website and was crushed to find out they were now saying the address was wrong and it would deliver on Tuesday. I would only be in Central CA Monday eve and out again in the morning. After 6 calls to UPS, 5 promised return calls that never happened, and a lot of frustration I finally was able to send my brother to the package center to pick up and bring the bike to me (He is now the coolest brother in the world). On the evening of 9/15/08 I finally got to ride Miss Kitty #5 around Lathrop CA. Wheee!

I went back to Yuma in the morning and started on my way to Albuquerque from there. I only got as far as Barstow that night but I had a little ride in the desert in the morning. The sand all looks the same to me but some of it will suck your front wheel in and cause instantaneous flips over the handlebar. I have found out that all abrasions and cuts obtained in the desert tend to itch like a sumbitch. even with the 29" wheels and fat tires, the mystery sand still got me several times before I headed out to NM. Somewhere out there the desert stole one of my handlebar endcaps. It also has a good bit of skin from my left shin.

I was Surprised at how much fun a singlespeed ended up being. I do wish I had a bit more gear for riding in traffic at times, but it's like back in the day on the ol' BMX. Peadaling faster and faster until you can't spin any more. It does make you smoother with the pedalstroke, and there is a Zen like quality to the outright simplicity of only having go and stop. I must say the all blue color scheme does look snappy, and it is a smooth ride that fits perfectly.

I made it to Albuquerque just before I ran out of legal driving time. I delivered to one of the worst parking lots I have ever been in. It was more crowded than a NYC lot and also uneven dirt and sand. I would try to back into a narrow space in the dark and the sloping ground would tilt my trailer and bring it dangerously close to the others. I believe there was also some mystery sand here. I took another ride to REI in the morning to pick up spare tubes and such. Albuquerque has a nice set of trails through the city but alas I was called to Waxahachie TX. On a side note Waxahachie was the proposed location for the US supercollider which ultimately was never built.

I worked up from there to the Chicago area which is the nexus point of roadwork in the country currently. How about finishing one job before you start another. It seems like everything from Aurora IL to Gary IN is torn up right now.

I have been bouncing back and forth from Illinois to the east coast for the past week. I think I've spent over $200 on the Ohio Turnpike alone. They do have those nice rest area though. A few more weeks and I'll be heading home for The FOO fall campout in WV.

It wouldn't be a post without a little church, can I get an Amen?
Now how can you get some fear and guilt to all the lost souls out on the highway? Considering the amount of people I saw entering this trailer over the course of a Sunday morning, not many. I think a 53 foot trailer is a bit more than necessary. I have yet to see the Semi-synagogue, Motor-mosque, or Travelling temple. Maybe the Christians are just more creative. This rig must have a plastic Jesus on the dashboard.

Thinking inside the box (1923)

ECONOMY

As I write the following blog entry I live alone on the asphalt, miles from my mountain neighbors in a truck that was built by International in Huntsville Alabama, and earn my living by the labor of my ass in the drivers seat only. I have lived here 6 months 3 weeks. At present I am a sojourner in "civilized" life.



I should not obtrude my affairs so much on the notice of my readers if very particular inquiries hadn't been made by my townsmen concerning my mode of life, which some would call impertinent. Though they do not appear to me at all impertinent, but considering the circumstances very natural and pertinent. Some have asked what I have to eat, If I did not feel lonesome, If I was not afraid, and the like. I will therefore ask those of my readers who have no particular interest to pardon me if I partake to answer some of those questions in this blog.



First, apologies to Thoreau for my bastardization (homage?) to Walden. Lately I've been thinking about the simplicity of my current situation. I have also been listening to (trucker reading) Walden, and I found some interesting parallels in my life and that of Ol' Henry. Even Though I am surrounded by Technology and Machinery I am leading quite the simple life.



I have always lived simply, partially financially determined. But I can also say that to some extent that was self imposed. Once I had enough to cover the basics, I just lost interest in the rat race. Ohiopyle is a haven for those of this mindset, as is any river town and ski area. A lot can be saved through communal support and bartering. In reality coming back to the "real world" has been quite an adjustment. I spent the bulk of the past decade in a town where to most, TV, radio, internet, and the bulk of the outside world is an occasional diversion from playing in the woods. I had forgotten that smiling and saying hello to someone puts many on the defensive.



The house I lived in previous to driving was about 45o sq. ft. and had no indoor plumbing. As a river guide I spent one summer in a tent, and the rest of my whitewater career at El Rancho Relaxo (later with the addition of a couch "El Rancho Deluxo") a guide house with usually no less than 25 people around. This meant there was rarely any difficulty getting a hack circle together. These were some of the financially poorest, but best times of my life.








I would also frequently sleep in my Honda Element, a vehicle I bought specifically for that purpose. If you want to get a good sunrise picture it's best to be there the night before. In February I would park outside my school gate and sleep until class started. Working 80-100 hour weeks meant unnecessary driving time had to go. In short I have always been extremely flexible with where I lay my head down at night.




I enjoyed the communal life , but I am equally comfortable being alone. Actually in matters of employment I prefer not having a superior breathing down my neck. Having a proclivity for telling people what I think no matter the result has in the past caused many a bridge to burn, usually while I'm standing on it, and on a few occasions even before I've crossed. I have through trial and error found a nice balance between individuality and knowing when being a smartass just isn't worth the hassle. I figured all that out in a mere 35 years. Take a tip from me, A district justice has little use for your opinions on their job performance.



I'm amazed that since I already spent a lot of time living out of my Element, I didn't trade up to living out of a larger vehicle sooner. It is the reality of living full time in a truck is where I have found those similarities with the simple living of Thoreau.

My truck is about 7x7x9 and my storage unit is 9.5x19.5x8. This works out to 248 sq. ft and 1923 cubic ft. respectively. Together this equals a 15x16 room with a 8 ft ceiling. Here is where everything I have in the world rests, including me. I spend the bulk of my time in the truck, about the same dimensions as a standard 1/2 bathroom. A 15x16 room is slightly larger than average, but keep in mind that my Honda also goes in this space. So, my physical footprint is quite small compared to an average 2000 sq. ft. (18,000 cubic ft.) home.



Consider this, go around your house and gather everything you use in an average month. This includes the bedroom, clothing, bathroom, den, kitchen, pantry, tool shed, etc, you get the picture. How much do you think all that stuff weighs? Also, where are you going to put all of it?


Lets consider utilities. My electricity comes from my truck. Yes, this uses diesel to run, and it could be said that by ecological terms I'm full of it considering my profession. I figured driving truck was better than my other option of being a baby seal clubber. But I'll defend myself weakly by saying that I am personally benefiting from the consumer lifestyles of our nation (buy more heavy stuff from far away people!) Think bottled water! I rarely idle the truck for AC (interior temps over 100 the exception) and drive in a more conservative manner. My overall fuel economy is in the 7.5 mpg range. Better than a Hummer! My idle time is expected to be less than 40%, at last review mine was 4%. My plumbing is nonexistent, although I do use facilities at truck stops. Living in a small space attunes you to all of your consumption and waste since weight, space, and hygiene come into play.








Many of the things I carry need to serve multiple purposes, those that don't go to storage. My bike (currently Miss Kitty #3) is exercise and transportation. You really combine your trips or do without when your vehicle / home is restricted from most areas. My Element has seen probably around 500 miles since February, and actually the inactivity has not been good for it. The 40,000 mile warranty on those new tires will last me a looooong time. My old extension pole I used for drywall is great for washing the truck, cleaning the windshield, and collapses to be the handle for my trailer cleaning push broom. My computer is a GPS, bank, photo album, music & book library, and movie theatre. My 300 watt rice cooker also is a veggie steamer and high powered crock pot. My microwave is in storage, but I do carry a small propane BBQ grill. Food prep becomes an exercise in how simple can I make this (think salads) because dish washing without water sucks. I learned to deal with that in my last house. When you carry all your water with you you learn to do without certain things. Pasta, unfortunately is one of them.

I use less resources than ever before in my life (diesel not included) and have made little sacrifice to do so. I understand this is a lifestyle that appeals to quite a small amount of people. But consider the travel (not always in the direction of choice) and opportunity. Outside of driving across Nebraska It's rarely boring. I have always had an aversion to jobs that I don't love. Much like the things I carry this profession serves many proposes.

And next time I'm in Concord MA there's a little pond I want to check out.

The force was strong with the young Jedi lighthouse, but wait... there is another. I had previously mentioned that there was a much grander holy mess along I-68. Here, partially hiding behind the windmill tower section is "THE ARK"

For as long as I've been going down this highway I could always look forward to what I like to call Noah's procrastination. I don't know how long this construction project has been stalled (due to lack of funding and larger lack of common sense) but I could always rest assured that as I climbed the hill toward it I wouldn't be seeing any crews at work. Not much to show for 32 1/2 years work. It appears Noah has bitten off a tad more than he can chew. Could it be a sign from above that this could be a monumental waste altogether?

I can't possibly elaborate any better than the 30 yr anniversary article

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06106/682602-85.stm

or the godsark homepage itself

http://www.godsark.org/index.html

be sure to click the icon (picture of the hollow shell of I beams) just to the left of "main" for the whole construction story.

In my search for the Ark website I happened across a book it was featured in called "Roadside Religion" It's a tour of the stranger religious sites in the country, something I may have to pick up to continue with the quality odd icon photos. The Ark was good enough to make the cover!

Enjoy.

I F*cking hate computers

Just figured I'd edit the title in case my mom reads this. After all she'll never know what that * could possibly represent. Sly eh?



So I finished the last blog, did a spellcheck, previewed it, everything looked fine. Hit the publish post button and view the blog and everything had scrambled. The pictures were compressing the text along the sides into unreadable 6 character rows. Huge amounts of space appeared out of thin air and planted itself between paragraphs. ARRRGGH! This type of thing used to happen when I would try to type a resume (really, about every 5 years or so) on Word. Looks fine in the preview then Blammo, the finished product has shifted all over the place. Then you spend the next few hours going back and forth making minor adjustments and checking the progress. So, I found the preview button, where is the real fucking world button (sorry mom).



You really should see my Frankenstein version of the last post. It bears little resemblance to the slightly rough finished product. So enjoy it, I have suffered to bring it to you. I refuse to alter this one so however this comes out, send comments to Microsoft.



That's what superguy gets for patting himself on the back when he learned how to add pictures. Can't say I didn't warn me.



I said every post, and I cant go back on my word, so... time for communion.

Here we have the Lighthouse, I think it's a church or retreat center. You'll notice the quaint cross shaped observation platform. Observing what? Why I-68 in Maryland of course. This bit of holy architecture not only churches up the highway, you can see it from the air! If you frequent I-68 you'll understand that I'm saving the other (colossal failure) roadside shrine on this route for a later post. I still need to find the newspaper articles.

Sadly this too pales in comparison to the first feature. I've been back east and all the good abortion shock displays are in the Midwest. So, no more fetuses (feti?) until I'm west of the Mississippi.

Ok, I had to edit and add this, of course it came out perfect, Fucking computer.

Rollin Thru the Mountains on I-68

I just had my longest home break to date, 4 1/2 whole days. I managed to get a good bit done in the way of doctor visits, car inspection, etc. The good part was I was able to get in some quality visiting time with all the mountain folk. The high point was the 1st birthday party for Addyson Greene. This was also my first visit to the Greene compound in Prince Gallitzin State Park. I must say the park can't quite live up to the glory of Ohiopyle, but it does have the largest campground in the system. PGSP is also conveniently located in the middle of nowhere somewhat between Altoona and Ebensburg.


The birthday party was the standard type of event for a child that isn't old enough yet to really comprehend what's going on. To Addyson it was a busier than average day with a lot of relatives and of course a fist full of cake to the face. This was also her first meeting with Reese DiCasolo, another of the less than 365 day crowd. The grand introduction left her... well, crying. Oh well plenty of time to get acquainted later. I gave the impressionable lass an assortment of They Might Be Giants children's albums. I was unaware that her favorite song (The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Theme) was on one of the albums. Wait, I mean I painstakingly researched the entire music department at Borders to find just the right CD, yeah... that's the ticket. Regardless I recommend the albums for strange adults and children destined to be strange. Go find Here come the 123's, Here Come The ABC's and NO! Best track for outdoorsy types, C is for Conifer (my kind of trees).



















We all went out to a local restaurant the night before the party. The meal was good, but even better was the place mat. There was a little story about the local coal mining history from an area newspaper. The writing was quite interesting. One sentence was a whopping 62 words long. I really wish I could find where I put that place mat to share it with all of you as the short 4-5 paragraphs kept us occupied for quite a while. The best way to describe the grammar is confusing. I guess that story didn't make it to the editors desk.

























I spent quite a few hours At Speedgoat going over the final details of the new Ms. Kitty. I really hadn't anticipated all the little details that went into the build. For instance, it is more aesthetically pleasing if you can match component brands on items like the seatpost, stem, and handlebar. It gives the bike a more cohesive look at the end. OK, that is a bit much, but all I can say is my rims are going to match the color of the frame and I think that's really neat. Those wonderful bastards will be taking a significant portion of my paychecks over the next few months. I've already restricted myself from buying anything else when I go to pick it up at the end of the month. Maybe, to be on the safe side, I should just have them ship it to me. You can get a $6500 dollar bike FRAME there. Too cool.


I've been hanging out in Ohio a lot lately. After working in the whitewater industry in Ohiopyle (no relation) you get a certain contempt for the Buckeye State. Put a bunch of flatlanders in the Appalachians and the air will be thick with the smell of burning brakes. While smoking wheel wells were not only on the cars with Ohio plates it just seemed that when it was a real gem of a Touron (regional dialect tourist + moron; aka turds) you just knew where they were from. That being said, whenever I call back home and I say I'm in Ohio I always get offered a reassuring condolence. My only legitimate beef with the state is the 55 MPH truck limit. I feel that having highway traffic go separate speeds is going to cause more problems than it's worth. In reality you will see few trucks going 55 unless there is an officer around.
























I have however longed for the Ohio flatness on theMaryland roller coaster highway. I'm torn when it comes to I-68, It's a bastard with the hills, but it's just so damn beautiful you don't mind dragging 40 tons up one of em' at 25 MPH. I-68 also connects with PA-40 which is a little road that takes me home. I had originally planned to move from the area due to it being off major truck routes, and I thought I could save on state taxes in WA, but I have decided that home (officially) will always be in or near Fayettenam. If you're going from I-70 to DC, Baltimore or I-81 south the short route is across 40 from Uniontown to I-68 at Keysers Ridge. Hopefully you have a light load cause while Yough Lake is nice the westbound climb royally sucks. I have enjoyed a little extra home time due to routing across 40, and if you gotta take that 10 hour break why not do it at home. For the driver without a parking spot already I recommend the dirt lot just west of Rt 523 on the south side and the old burnt bar about a mile west of Keysers Ridge on the north side. Just remember you can usually find a Trooper at the state line and the ones from the Garrett county barracks aren't known for their sense of compassion.





















The real elevation fun starts on the western side with Sideling Hill. If you aren't in a big truck you can check out the exhibition center. I'm into geology and this is a fantastic place to see bedding layers of sedimentary rock. Igneous and metamorphic?, not here buddy they sent them off with the truck drivers to lands far far away. Since you'll be crawling up all those mountains, you might as well get to know them by name. Between Sideling Hill and Keysers Ridge you'll find Polish, Meadow, Haystack, and Big Savage. The PC award goes to... none other than Negro Mountain. I'm sure there is an old USGS map out there with the original name.






















The only city along the route is Cumberland which is now an arts and tourism destination. You'll drive (40 MPH if you know what's good for you) right over the center of the land of Cumber. You might want to stop for a steam locomotive or C&O canal boat ride, as long as your vehicle weighs less than 10 tons. Cumberland is the first Heritage site in the Maryland, and no, I have no clue what that means. But, if you like architecture and art this is a great little town. Be sure to stop at the pedestrian mall if you want a local cafe.


I have enjoyed good weather lately. There was a ball of heat parked over the Midwest when I was there earlier this month, It has been much nicer back east. Last night in Somerset Pa (let me get a shout out for the Laurel Highlands) I actually got a bit cold. There have been perfect little rainstorms. Just long enough to knock the dust off the truck and let you wash the bugs off the windshield. I was treated to a double rainbow a few days ago, although those things always look better in person than in pictures.



















And finally, as promised, a little dose of roadside religion. This ties in with my earlier statements on the fine state of Ohio, where this sign was found.























Someone needs to put a sign right after this one that says...
YOU ARE HERE

Yeah, probably shouldn't have come out of the gate with the fetus sign. I don't think I'll ever top that one.